Picture a courtroom where the judge’s wig sprouts tentacles, gaveling objections with a squeaky toy hammer. Lawyers argue in emoji hieroglyphics, a jury box overflows with rubber chickens, and the Constitution’s fine print reads “Terms & Conditions Apply.” Exaggerate: a subpoena delivered by a drone dropping glitter bombs, a “key witness” who’s just a sock puppet reciting Shakespeare, and a law book titled “101 Loopholes to Escape Reality.”